Celebrating the Spirit and News of Monument Mountain

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Ambivalent

Reflections on leaving high school

Bella Carchedi, Maroon Tribune Reporter

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I have waited most of my school career to be finished with high school. I’ve always looked up at the graduating seniors with envy, but this year it’s my turn and I have different emotions than I thought I would. In the short period from December until now I have experienced a wide variety of emotions. The idea of moving on to college is more real now. And I am not quite sure yet how to deal with it. In the fall of 2017, I will be moving out of my childhood home, and entering the dorms of UMass Amherst.

In twenty days I’ll be done with high school for good. I´ll never walk the halls of Monument as a student, never sit in the desks I once did, and never be surrounded by all my classmates I have known since elementary school. Without a doubt college will be the biggest change I have endured yet, and I’m still trying to figure out how to cope with it. It does help that everyone in my senior class is facing a similar experience. With all the fears and uncertainty, there still is an underlying feeling of excitement too. Rather than focusing on all of the unknowns, I will try to embrace the benefits and look forward to the changes.

My biggest challenge is going to be learning how to share my personal space with another student. I have always had a big room to myself–plenty of closet space, a t.v, a king size bed, etc.–I will most likely have a room half the size of mine, and also have a roommate. That means that I will have approximately 1/4th the size of my space now and I will miss all of the amenities that have been a part of my life thus far. That terrifies me, but at the same time it’ll show me how to share and respect the needs of my roommate. There’s no shame in being nervous, it’s a scary and unsure time in many young kids lives. Moving off to college is a huge leap forward, but it will prepare thousands of students for life beyond  the college years. Learning to live with a person you might not necessarily like will allow for growth of the individual.  

About a month ago I signed up for a tour of the campus of Umass Amherst. I had never visited, and thought it’d probably be a good idea. I walked through dorms, dining halls, and classroom and I could picture myself there. It was nothing like I had expected. I was not aware of all of the different academic programs they offered. I instantly knew that Umass would offer me so many opportunities to be successful and to not take this would be a waste. Being a large University, it allows for an abundance of diverse classes from biology to art classes to be taken.
These mixed emotions I have started to feel these past couple of weeks has surprised me. I never thought i´d be nervous when it was my turn to go to college, but I am. If I focus on the idea too much i´ll drive myself crazy. After weighing out my options, I have realize that I need to make changes in order for progress to occur. Umass Amherst is the right fit for me and although the uncertainty is nerve-racking, it’s what needs to be done. Umass will take me on the path to success.

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Celebrating the Spirit and News of Monument Mountain
Ambivalent